A brilliantly average scan.

During the scan we saw so much of the baby that it was
the next best thing to actually holding him/ her, but
as soon as it was time to take a photo
he/ she got stage fright again.

Today we had our twenty week scan, and after sitting around listening to the local tin pot radio station in the waiting we were ushered into the special darkened room for another gawp at our youngling.

The baby is HUGE!  I think I saw it from almost every angle as the scanner-lady (I would learn her job title but this is probably our last scan so it's already too late) probed my lovely wife's bump.  The biggest (and therefore campest) gasp from my end of the bed was when I saw the baby's face: after a few fleeting glimpses when it looked like the eye of Sauron I saw a perfectly clear view of the front of a face, and it was the most pure thing I've ever seen.  It may sound daft calling an unborn child pure but that's how it looked; totally disconnected from the pressures of the real world, and yet by its very presence is massively simplifying and hugely enriching my existence on this lump of rock as it hurtles through space.

Measurements were taken by the scanner-lady and reported in a neutral tone to an assistant with a pen, the tone was in fact so neutral that I didn't relax until the whole experience was over and we had both been assured that all is well, in fact our baby is better than 'well'; it's 'average'.

I've spent my whole life rejecting the average and seeking out the unconventional in everything I do, being anything other than average is at the very core of my being, and yet today while I was looking at baby's chart (and wondering what it all meant) knowing that our child was average was the best news I've ever had.



P.S we still don't know if it's a boy or girl, the scanner lady offered to tell us but we said no.

P.P.S although I think I've got a fair idea...

Would you mind shoving that thing somewhere else?

Photo is unrelated
Taken (by me) in Christiana in Denmark

We’ve just got back from our twelve week scan, and you were probably expecting to see a photo of the scan, and to tell the truth so were we!

The baby was perfectly healthy, very active but just wouldn’t pose to have the back of its neck measured (a routine test for downs syndrome), and certainly wasn’t interested in having its photo taken.

Baby started off by mooning us from an upside down position, I ‘think’ it might also have flipped us the bird.  Em was asked to drink another half litre of water to see if we could get the baby to lay in the right position, but that didn’t help, so Em emptied her bladder, and still the baby wouldn’t comply.  The final attempt at pre-natal compliance involved Em lifting her bum off the couch and jiggling her hips about, and all that did was rock the baby into a sort of ‘Andy Capp’ asleep on a settee position.

So no photo I’m afraid, but the good news is that the baby appears to be nice and healthy, and is certainly active.  We’re already booked in for the twenty week scan, and because the back of the baby’s neck couldn’t be measured Em needs to have her blood screened to check there are no abnormalities.

Oh, and the baby is now 72mm long, meaning it is three times bigger than it was just three weeks ago!

Baby is already a show off, just like its dad!

Today was what we all thought was the twelve week scan, but as it turns out it was in fact a nine week scan.  The staff at the hospital were all friendly, and Em didn’t complain too much that she had to cultivate a very full bladder for the purposes of the scan.

I watched on the small screen as the nice lady showed me my darling wife’s innards, and the first shock I got was when I thought the scanner was showing me a huge grinning mouth, but it wasn’t our child, probably just Em’s wee reserve.

When the nice lady found our baby I was shocked that it really does look like a little person, sort of, if you squint, and use your imagination.  I was pointing excitedly at the screen and identifying legs and a big head when the baby surprised us all by doing a little dance, although I guess I’d shuffle about a fair bit if a large inward dent suddenly appeared in my ken!

Em and I were both a little relieved to find out that we’re not having twins, and even more relieved when the nice lady pointed out that our youngun has a healthy beating heart!  I thought I had come to terms with the fact that I’m going to be a dad, but see the little dear wiggling about really drive that home. 

It felt slightly weird having to pop five pound coins in a vending machine in the waiting room (to pay for our copy of the scan) but I guess a lot is about to start feeling weird, like the fact we now know our baby is currently 24mm long.



I’m still on a high as I sit and write this a few hours later, a feeling backed up by something that happened in Capel St.Mary Co-op...

After a site visit to one of my clients I nipped into the local Co-op to buy some beer for a party we’re going to tomorrow night.  While I waiting in line to be served at the Co-op when I overheard two old dears talking about Valentines day and having a little moan about husbands in general.  Feeling chatty (as I often am) I piped up and told them that us husbands aren’t so bad.  They turned and looked at me with surprise, and lady A told me I didn’t look old enough to be a husband, so I replied saying that not only am I a thirty four year old husband, but I’m also a 34 year old father to be!  There was much muttering between the two old dears and lady B told me that she ‘should have gone to specsavers’.  Then to cap it all the lady behind the till asked me for ID to prove I’m old enough to buy beer!

So we’ve got to back for the twelve week scan in three week’s time.  What a day!