Thursday, 27 January 2011

My suspicions confirmed, finally - hopefully!

Written 15th January 2011

Well after weeks of me thinking Em might be pregnant (and after years of ‘trying’ to get her pregnant) this morning she took the test, and yes, she is pregnant.

Since I was a kid I’ve always wondered what it would feel like the moment I learn that I’ve knocked someone up, I’m prone to bouts of extreme anxiety so I thought I’d probably mess my pants and run around the house screaming like a cartoon character, but I surprised myself with how calm I responded when my wife showed me the pregnancy test.  Thats not to say I didn’t react in any way at all though, I did keep bursting into laughter, which thankfully didn’t spook Emma at all.

But on the whole I am calm, clear thinking and overwhelmingly happy.  Above all I have spent the whole of today staring at my beautiful wife with doe eyes, falling more in love with her than I ever have before.

We’ve been adopting the ‘lets see what happens’ zero-contraception theory for about five years now.  We decided long ago that we wouldn’t be the sort of couple that got obsessive over charts, temperatures and vaginal mucus - we just wanted to see if what would happen would, well, happen.  That being said I went for a fertility test a couple of years ago, but I really didn’t plan to, in fact I went to see my doctor about a mole on my back and much to my surprise I came out with a spaff sample pot.  The results were good (and believe me, it’s really hard not to be an elated idiot when you find that out) but still a couple of years later nothing had happened.  I wouldn’t say I had resigned myself to a life without children, but my wife and I had certainly discussed the possibility that younguns might not feature in our lives together.

Still, it’s early days yet, and we haven’t even been to see our doctor yet.  I think our doctor will be especially proud of himself though - just a couple of months ago Em paid him a visit to ask for fertility advice!

Right here, right now I feel like Em and I are the first couple in the world to spawn life, even although I know that’s obviously cobblers.  But I guess the feeling is a bit like when you know you’re deeply in love, and you feel like you’re the first person ever to feel that way, because surely nobody else has it as good and as deep as you do?  Right?

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